It was more than just fatigue
I started to slowly gain weight. I haven’t been able to lose it.
My hair started falling out. I didn’t know why.
My thoughts started to feel jumbled. It became harder to concentrate.
I started to feel chronically fatigued. Some days were difficult to walk.
I started feeling down. I told myself I’ve been through a lot lately. This is normal. This is completely normal.
I convinced myself I was just stressed. I needed more sleep.
I didn’t just need more sleep. I am sick again.
Coming to terms with my Relapse
It’s the part about living with a chronic illness that nobody wants to talk about. It doesn’t fit the neatly scripted formula.
Get sick. Heal yourself with food. Beat the odds. Live happily ever after. That is how the script is supposed to read.
Life doesn’t always fit into neatly colored boxes. Some days I wish it did.
It’s the messy part of a holistic wellness journey. That despite food, lifestyle changes and self-care, outside environmental triggers can ignite a relapse.
My trigger was stress. I now know this.
Becoming my own Health Coaching Client
My Hashimoto’s disease has returned, but this time is different.
This time I am grateful.
I am grateful for the experience to deepen my understanding of my own body. To reconnect with what it needs. To know my own limits. To be OK with my limits.
Getting sick again has forced me to reexamine and uproot every aspect of my life. I have become my own client.
Getting sick again has forced me to reeducate myself and expand my learning on the link between our digestive system, our immune system and our brain chemistry. It’s all connected.
Getting sick again has turned on a passion to use my own body as my testing lab. It is helping me heal.
Getting sick again has forced me to be a better health coach. It’s ignited an even deeper love for my work and strengthened my belief in the powerful role dietary and lifestyle changes hold in managing disease.
Releasing Fear to Find Healing
It has forced me to truly connect with my clients on a deeper level. I understand now more than ever the fear around the unknown.
There is a lot of fear. I am working to release it.
Instead I am choosing to focus on the positive.
I focus on the fact that some days I feel completely healthy. That I can still practice and teach yoga with as much joy as when I stepped onto the mat for the first time.
I am focusing on that I have access to some of the best doctors and that I have been graced with a determination and drive to educate myself and figure out what is happening in my own body so I can continue to help others do the same.
These things are helping me heal. I am grateful.